Attack on Love
by Miraluna
Summary: A totally serious romance. Eren x Everyone. Enjoy! (no spoilers) 3rd chapter is the best. its amazing, I assure you. warning: contains insanity and potatoes.
1. Chapter 1

(**A/N**: a little story made by us, Mira and Luna, at two in the morning. (': it's quite genius, so _please please please_ review or favorite to let us know what you think!)

* * *

_Chapter One_

"Nooo!" Eren moans in his sleep, tossing and turning in bed. Above him stands corporal Levi, who is watching him with disgust. Eren is awoken by a slap to the face.

"What are you doing, sleeping at this time, brat?"

Eren bolts upright, and presses a hand to his swollen cheek. "What!? Oh, it's Levi Heich-" He's cutoff when Levi decides to jump into the air and do a swan dive directly into Eren's face. The older man bounces off and falls onto the floor. Eren laughs. "Nice try but, you're too small to pack a good punch."

Levi's eyes narrowed. "WHAT did you say?"

"C-crap..." Eren says, and Levi pounces onto the bed like a puma. He swings at Eren repeatedly, making sure to give him a few extra kicks in the... nether regions. Levi pauses when he sees an angry Mikasa standing at the door.

"Help," Eren cries. "I must still be dreaming. There's this little man beating me up."

Mikasa dashes toward Levi with an evil glint in her eyes. As she is about to drop kick Levi, he dodges, and instead Mikasa hits Hanji. "Eh? HANJI?! What are you doing under my bed?" Eren questions.

"For... my... research.." Hanji says faintly. Within moments, Hanji is passed out.

"We'll continue this later," Levi says while walking out the door. "What about Hanji?!" Eren yells. "Take care of it!" shouts Levi from the hall.

Eren and Mikasa are left with a passed out Hanji on the floor. "I guess we should bring her to her room..?" Eren says, lifting her up and resting her head against the bed. "So heavy though..." As he says this, he notices something small gleaming in Hanjis pocket.

"What's this?" He reaches in her pocket and takes out a small vial. Mikasa steps back.

"Eren, we shouldn't be messing with her stuff."

"Wait Mikasa, look! It says my name on it." Sure enough, the vial is labeled 'Eren'.

"I wonder... if maybe I should drink it?" he asks.

"That's... No, Eren, don't!" Mikasa tries to take the vial out of his hands, but it's too late, he's already drank the strange substance inside. She watches him in awe.

"Whoa!" he says, clutching his chest. "What's wrong?!" Mikasa places her hands on his shoulders.

"What is this.. warm feeling in my chest? And my heart is beating so fast!" Eren takes Mikasa's hand and blushes fiercely. "Your hair is so pretty. It makes my heart go doki-doki!" _Crap, he sounds just like Jean.. but WORSE!_ Mikasa thinks. "E-Eren? What happened to you?!"

"You know what happened to me? I've been infected by the love virus!" Eren replies as he prances around the room. Mikasa runs towards Hanji's body and slaps her face left to right repeatedly yelling, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO EREN? WAKE UP!" But it's hopeless. Hanji is knocked out.

"Ohhhhhh, Mikasaaaaa!" Eren sings. "Oh crap," she murmurs to herself.

Levi re-enters the room. "Oh, by the way Eren-" He stops, a confused look on his face. "Why is he dancing over there like an idiot?"

Mikasa sighs and explains to Levi, "He accidentally drank something of Hanji's that gave him a love virus. Now he's super emotional, super ditzy, and super... in love."

"In love with you?" Levi asks, and Eren immediately stops and runs up to him

. "HEEIIIICHOUUUUUUU!" he says, a pained look on his face. "I need...!" Eren pants, falling to the floor. "I need..."

"Need what?" asks Levi, kneeling down beside him.

"I need... a map... because I'm so lost in your eyes!"

Eren receives a swift kick to the face.

Mikasa snaps. She roundhouse kicks Levi aiming for his head, but he stops the kick midway and says, "We need to find out how to cure this idiot. Fighting won't get us anywhere."

"Fine..." Mikasa replies. "_Miiiikasssaaaaa_! Can I have directions?" Eren yells, a stupid look on his face.

"To where?" Mikasa asks.

"TO YOUR HEART!"

Her eye starts to twitch. "First a map, now directions. This idiot is truly lost," Levi scoffs. Mikasa faces Levi and says, "We need to find a cure, and quick. I can't take this anymore."

"Oh-ho-ho..." a voice says from behind.

"Hanji?"

The two turn around and find Hanji standing behind them with a creepy glare in her eyes and a wide smile.

"It won't be that easy to cure," she laughs, as if it was totally normal for her to wake up on the floor. "The only way he can change back to normal is if he receives a kiss from his true love!"

"K-kiss?!" Mikasa says, startled. Hanji nods happily, and Eren comes up to the older woman and starts making kissy faces.

"NO!" yells Mikasa. "I mean.. there has to be some other way. In this state, Eren is in love with EVERYBODY, how can we find out his true love?"

"Does he even have one?" Levi remarks. "I don't think he feels love at all."

"I heard that, you silly boy, you!" Eren giggled.

"Mikasa! Quickly, close the door before anyone else comes in." Levi orders.

"Okay, it's closed. What are you trying to do?" Mikasa asks.

"We have to prevent Eren from seeing anyone else, or it'll be harder to find his true love."

"Oh, I understand, but what about the kiss?"

The two of them stare at Hanji. "Are you going to tell us another way to cure him, or are we going to make you?" they said simultaneously with a sinister grin.

"Wait..." Eren says. Levi sighs. "What now?"

They all stare at Eren in anticipation.

His eyes widen as if he just remembered something important. "I MUST... _KILL ALL THE TITANS_!" he yells angrily, cracking open a window and jumping out the three story high building.

The three stand there in silence. "Ah... looks like some of his true feelings are showing through," Hanji notes.

Mikasa grabs Hanji. "What?! Is he going to try and kill a titan or something?!"

"Well, he'll probably forget about it soon enough and go back to his lovey-dovey state again," Hanji explains. Levi makes his way to the window and enters a jumping stance.

"Hurry, we have to find him before he can fall in love with anyone else!" he exclaims, and falls out the building in search for Eren.

/end chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

"MUST KILL ALL TITANS!" Eren yells in fury, dropping out of the building at full-speed. He lands on Jean and as they both get up Eren shouts, "JEAN!"

"What is it, Eren?" Jean says with his creepy face. "Your sideburns are so cute and adorable!" Eren giggles. Jean freezes up. "My sideburns are what?" he asks.

"A-D-O-R-A-B-L-E," Eren says in a cutesy voice. Jean is frozen. Eren just smiles and happily skips away.

Jean walks back to his friends, feeling very disoriented. "H-hey, Connie... did you see that just now?"

"Hm? See what?" says Connie, a potato stuffed in his mouth.

"It was Eren, he-"

"MY POTATOOOOO!" a loud voice cries in the distance.

"Shoot, gotta run Jean! I'll see you later!" Connie takes off and Jean is standing by himself. _Once again, I have lost my faith in humanity,_ he thinks. Armin comes up to him and says, "Did you say you saw Eren? I was looking for him."

"U-uh, yeah. He was being kind of weird though."

"Weird...?"

"You'll see," Jean sighs, wondering what kind of crazy thing Eren was up to. "I think he went that way." Jean points to the direction that Eren ran off in. "Alright, lets go!" Armin happily says.

"Okay- wait, I'm going too? Tch. I don't want to see that idiot again."

"Eren! Where are you?" Armin yells. Just then, Jean spots Eren on top of a five story building. "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" Eren shouts, his arms spread wide. "Eren! Get down from there!" Armin yells.

"There you are! Levi! Over here!" hollers Mikasa from around the corner.

"That useless fool. What is he talking about, king of the world my butt." Levi scoffs. Eren jumps off the building. Surprisingly, he lands without a scratch.

"Grab him!" Levi yells.

"Nooooo!" Eren screams as if he's a damsel in distress. He runs away and walks right into the arms of Sasha, who drops a half-eaten potato.

Eren stares at the potato for a good 60 seconds and picks it up, looking it over in wonder. "This potato... it's even more beautiful than mikasa," he says, lovestruck.

Jean bursts out laughing and immediately is kicked to the floor by Mikasa. The others put on a blank face and try not to laugh.

"Alright Eren, you're coming with us," Mikasa demands, this time more angrily than before.

"You need to-" she begins, but is stopped when she notices something strange. "WHAT are you DOING?" Eren is creepily eyeing the potato up and down.

And then, much to her surprise, he starts making out with the potato. Sasha lets out a wail of anguish and falls to the floor.

"I didn't know Eren was into that kind of stuff," Jean mocks. He's kicked again by Mikasa, who snatches the potato out of Erens hands.

She takes a few steps back, aiming high for the sky. Mikasa throws the potato with so much force, it flies over Wall Maria. The potato knocks out a titan. Everyone except Levi's jaw drops in awe.

"MY POTATOOOO!" Sasha cries. "POTATO-SAAAANNN!" screams Eren. "Quiet!" Mikasa shouts, fed up with his antics. She grabs Eren by the collar. "Let's bring him back to Hanji. NOW."

As Levi and Mikasa walk back to Erens room, they discover that Hanji left.

"So... when do I get my kiss?" Eren grins. The two sigh.

Levi announces, "Listen, Mikasa. Eren kissed the potato Sasha had eaten off of, and hes still lovestruck, which takes Sasha and potato out of our list. Our remaining suspects for his love are me, Jean, Hanji, and you. And lets be honest, if anyone on that list was Erens true love, it'd be you."

Mikasa scowls. "He called a POTATO prettier than me. He must think I'm hideous," she says sadly.

"There's no way, Mikasa, you're beautiful!" Levi insists, taking Mikasas hand. They share a passionately awkward moment.

"Well, this is an interesting development!" a voice excitedly says from under Erens bed.

"Hanji, please stop doing that," Mikasa says dryly, and Levi lets go of her hand.

"You showed up just as I planned. Do you really think I'm the type of person to say things like that?" Levi says.

"Eh? You got me! Hahahaha!" Hanji laughs.

"What's so funny?" Mikasa snarls. Hanji appears behind Mikasa.

"Let me explain to you a few things," she says with a suspicious grin.

_Meanwhile, back at the five story building..._

"My potato..." Sasha cries, lying on the floor in fetal position.

Armin and jean are kneeled down beside her. "Shh, it's okay, Sasha," Armin reassures her. "We'll get you another potato." The two help the girl up, and together they walk to the squads cafeteria.

Suddenly they hear a loud boom coming from the other side of the wall. The three freeze and listen, but they don't hear anything else.

"What was that?" Sasha asks nervously.

"M-maybe the titan that Mikasa knocked out is a little angry," Jean jokes.

All of a sudden, Levi, Hanji, Mikasa, and Eren zoom past them on their maneuver gear. They land on a building close by.

"Guys!" Armin runs up near them. "What's going on? How's Eren?" he calls up to them.

"Oh, don't you worry about him! He's our SECRET WEAPON!" Hanji yells back with a laugh.

"Secret weapon?" Jean remarks, confused. "What do they mean by that?"

"A-ha-ha!" Hanji's voice booms. "We're going to use him to deploy LOVE to all the titans! It's genius!"

Armin, Jean, and Sasha look up as the others fly away, jaws dropped in shock. "Th..There's NO way that plan will work! Eren will get killed! Stupid Hanji!"

* * *

(A/N: cliffhanger! teehee. once again, please, favorite, review, follow, etc. thanks so much for reading! )


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Eren stands on top of wall Maria screaming, "Oh my delightful lovers! I love you all!" There he spots a Titan. "I...LOVE... TO KILL TITANS!" he yells at the top of his lungs.

"Ehhh?!" everyone screams in confusion.

"Seems like your experiment backfired. He still hates titans, but he does love people...and potatoes," says Levi. "No way!" Hanji says in sorrow.

"We have to get him away from the titans. There are hundreds, he won't survive!" Mikasa shouts. Moving at the speed of light, Levi and Mikasa rush to Eren. Just as Eren jumps, Levi and Mikasa catch him just in time.

"Ohhhhh! My two shining knights in armor!" Eren giggles. Levi and Mikasa pull Eren up to safety, but something doesn't seem right. Eren is quieter than usual.

"It's time for me to take action!" Eren yells.

"What?" Mikasa and Levi say simultaneously. Eren picks up Mkasa like a princess and runs away. Eren runs into an empty building, holding onto Mikasa tightly. When they arrive, he gently sets her down and sits next to her, panting heavily.

"What was that for?" Mikasa asks, confused and a little scared.

"I needed to get you... alone," he replies. Mikasa's heart skips a beat. _Is he going to try something?_ she thinks. He gazes into her eyes with an adorable puppy dog face. Tears begin to roll down his cheeks.

"Eren! What's wrong?" she asks, placing her hands on his shoulders. He looks at the ground and his shoulders shake as he starts to sob.

"I miss her so much," he cries. Mikasas eyes widen. She didn't think he would start talking about such a sensitive subject. Eren's moms' death was so hard for the both of them.

Mikasa wraps her arms around him, and places her head on his shoulder. "I know, Eren, I miss her too," she says.

Eren sniffs. "P-potato-san!" he sobs into Mikasas shoulder.

She freezes. "WHAT did you say?"

"Where did potato-san go? I miss her so much!"

Mikasa drops Eren. "You.. IDIOT!"

She raises her hand as though to slap him, but she just can't do it. Eren's eyes wide as tears run down Mikasas cheeks. Mikasa wipes the tears off her face and calms herself down.

"Anyways, let's find Levi and get you back to normal." she sniffs. Eren stands there, shocked. "Eren?" Mikasa says, waving her hand in front of his face.

Eren snaps out of it. _That was weird, it was as if he was back to normal for a minute there,_ Mikasa thinks.

"POTATO-SAAANNN! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Eren cries. _Looks like he's back to lovey-dovey mode again._ "Let's find Levi first," Mikasa tells Eren.

"OKAY!" Eren sings. He kisses Mikasa's cheek and says "One kiss for you! Now where's that lovable shorty?"

Mikasa's eye twitch suddenly comes back. "Let's go," she sighs.

They walk back to Erens room, hoping everyone will have returned there. Eren kicks open the door and spots Levi waiting by his bed.

"HONEY, I'M HOME!" he yells, and runs up to him with open arms. He's stopped by a boot in the face from Levi. "Ow..." Eren says, and he backs up into Armin. He turns around, surprised.

"Who is this glorious coconut head standing in front of me?" Eren says with a smirk.

"Eren, it's me, Armin," he says nervously. Eren wiggles his eyebrows. "Nice to meet you, mister sexy coconut."

"Eren what the he-"

All of a sudden Connie runs into the room. "SAVE THE POTATO! Sasha's after me! Hide it!" he says, and throws a potato at Armin.

Erens eyes widen. "P-potato-san?!" he says, and leans in to kiss the potato.

Armin pulls it away just in time. Eren tries to follow it but he knocks heads with Armin.  
Heads... and lips.

Everyone in the room is shocked.  
Eren, eyes closed, thinks he's kissing the potato. Armin pulls away, eyes wide and face bright red.

Eren opens his eyes and realizes that instead of the potato, he is kissing Armin!

"Ohhhhh, too bad," Eren says, disappointment on his face. "Mister sexy coconut isn't my true love!"

Armin, still red in the face, runs out of the room. Mikasa isn't mad but she isn't happy either.

"Coconut head is out," Levi says. Suddenly, a potato shatters the window! "POTATO-SAN?!" Eren cries. Potato-san is covered in Titan blood.

"Don't tell me that this potato killed a Titan," Levi says in disgust.

"You came back for me!" cries Eren, tears of joy running down his face.

"Wait," says Mikasa, and she picks up the potato. "This isn't his true love. He kissed it before. So why is he so obsessed with it now?"

Levi scoffs. "Why does it matter? I just want to get this over with. Someone kiss that fool already."

Then Connie, scared for his life, jumps under the bed with an angry Sasha chasing him. Mikasa looks around the room. _We have Connie, Jean, Levi, Hanji, and me. That's gotta be everyone he hasn't kissed yet,_ she thinks.

"I have an idea!" Mikasa announces, wiping off the potato. Everyone looks at her. "What is it?"

"Lets all kiss the potato, and then give it to Eren!"

Everybody makes faces of disgust. Mikasa lightly pecks it, and she tosses it off to the others. They hesitantly do the same, until it ends up at Levi.

He looks at it with displeasure but kisses it anyway. "I have to go vacuum my mouth off now," he says, leaving the room and dropping the potato on the floor.

Now, it's Erens turn.  
He dives after it, picking it up from the floor and holding it in his arms. "I missed you so much," he says, and lifts it up to his face.

Sasha and Connie are sitting on the floor, arms full with potatoes and chewing intensely. Everyone watches Eren anticipation (and disgust).

Then... Eren kisses the potato. He kisses it again and again, making sure to get every square inch.

"I'm so disturbed right now," Jean says but he is hushed by Mikasa. They're all waiting to see what Eren will do next.

Eren freezes for a bit. "Why...am I kissing a potato?" Eren asks, dropping it to the floor.

"Thank god you're back to normal, you were creeping me out and _I'm_ supposed to be the creepy one." Jean admits.

"Tch, you're lucky that I didn't kill you before you got cured." Levi says, appearing suddenly at the doorway.

"Sorry for all the trouble you guys." Eren chuckles. Mikasa runs towards Eren with a smile to give him a hug, but...

"Hahahahah! Amazing! Two accidents in a row!" Hanji yells. In the center of the room was Eren's and Mikasa's lips touching, both of them frozen and wide-eyed.

Mikasa immediately gets up an yelled, "Where did all these other potatoes come from?!" Sasha and Connie avert their eyes and start whistling, picking up the potatoes they dropped earlier when they were eating.

Everyone laughs as they watch Eren and Mikasa get flustered.

"S-so, what happened to me anyway?" Eren says sheepishly, looking over at Mikasa. Embarrassed, Mikasa turns away. Hanji immediately jumps up to explain.

"A little experiment of mine.. You were so in love and we snapped you out of it with true loves kiss!"

"So.. who was it? My true love?" Eren asks.

Everyone is silent. "Who WAS it?" they ask.

Armin walks back into the room, feeling better from his accidental kiss. "Now that I think about it, Eren was more in love with the potato after it killed that titan right?" he says.

"..yeah?" says mikasa.

Armin explains, "I think he only loved the potato because of that. So his true love... is killing titans!"

"...EH?!"

**End!**

_A/N: I hope you enjoyed the story as much as we enjoyed writing it. please favorite, review, etc. (: we appreciate everyone who's commented on our story and love your interesting reviews. And thanks to your support, more attack on titan fanfics are on their way!_


End file.
